He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize