Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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