i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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