I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
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