can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
They took my balls.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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