i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize