Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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