hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize