You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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