My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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