New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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