let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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