i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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