I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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