My friends, they love my intelligence
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
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She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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