So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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