I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize