This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize