Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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