remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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