I cannot find my penis.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not cheating when I paid for it
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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