Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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