He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize