evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
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you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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