dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize