I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
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The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
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I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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