How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize