She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
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Do I have a choice?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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