dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
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Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
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The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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