I feel like I'm in dance class right now
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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