Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize