Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
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Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
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I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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