so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
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My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
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I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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