Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
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the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
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I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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