There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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