I showed him my bush... on skype.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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