i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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