you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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