i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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