Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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