He had one of those small greek statue penises
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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