he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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