when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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