Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I need moral support for this bender
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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