Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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