Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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