Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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