What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I woke up under a house in Key West
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