Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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