Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
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we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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